If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
