I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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