I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
