Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
