That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
