so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
