So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
