She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
