Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
