How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
