Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
420 ftw
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
