I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
