he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
