I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
