Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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