He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
