if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
