Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I said "one day" and that day is not today
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
