The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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