Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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