I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
