Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
