Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
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