I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
