i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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