If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
