just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
