She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize