He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
