I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
