I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I need water and some morals
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
