meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
