I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Randomize
