we made out on top of his cat.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
