it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
