if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
