from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
