don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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