It's like God shit irony all over that family
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
