You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
so let's talk penis.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize