I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
