Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
