yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
