omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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