I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
