my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
