And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
