You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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