four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
