moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Dignity is for republicans.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Let's get the cat blown out
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
