Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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