I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
The struggles of a small town man whore
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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