Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
