were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize