oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
