I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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