So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
