The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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