She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
FUCK WHALES
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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