I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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