i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
