called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
