Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
