We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
